How to Use and Not Use Bear Spray

     After work one evening, two young men drove the truck three miles down a narrow logging road looking for a perfect fishing hole where cutthroat trout patrolled picking up floating salmon roe. It was salmon spawning season on the river and the valley reeked of rotting fish mixed with berry engorged bear scat. Gulls, crows, and eagles perched in the huge spruce, fir and alder trees overhanging the river waiting for full crops to digest before going for more of the plentiful feed. Large padded, five-clawed prints marked the sandy river banks as the men made their way to the river edge loaded down with fishing rods, hooks and carefree optimism. As they cast their roe baited hooks into the pool they could see flashes of silver flicker out of the deep dark shadows checking for easy red meals. One cutty went for the bait and swallowed it greedily, unaware of the danger until the hook set suddenly and securely into its bony jaw. It shook its head and tugged violently against the sting, pain and resistance that incessantly towed it to the exposed shallows. It ran hard, down stream towing Jack along the sandy riverbank. They fought and tugged to and fro for a couple of minutes before the three-pound trout lay panting on the shore. Jack quickly released the hook and cast it back into the river. Fishing was great and both men soon had a couple of fish lined up on the river bank when a bear emerged from upstream, slowly and methodically casting his huge nose back and forth searching for the fresh smell of free meal. Andy was further downstream and noticed the bear coming behind Jack and called a warning. Jack spun around reaching for his bear spray canister hanging from the holster on his hip. 

Hungry for Fish

     The bear spotted the fish lying on the bank and sprang forward, splashing downstream claiming the beached trout. Andy, wisely backed off, abandoning his catch, but prepared to defend himself if the bear wanted more. He popped the safety clip off the trigger as he continued to make his way downstream. Grizzly stopped and nuzzled then ate his free fish and the men managed to make their way safely to the truck.

     Before they boarded Jack struggled to replace the safety clip onto the trigger of the canister.  Andy supervised passing out instructions, as Jack got more frustrated. They were both soon huddled over the canister, trying in vain to snap the clip into place. Somehow, Jack’s finger slipped onto the trigger, releasing a sudden orange bomb of spray directly into the palm of his hand, which deflected the fire into both fellows’ faces. Instant burning, gasping, swearing, fumbling, can’t see, can’t breathe, and can’t drive.

Laughing Bear

     “Where is that bear?” they are wondering through the foggy background of pain and confusion. Need water but got none; the river is right there but so is the bear. All these thoughts ricochet around their fogged brains and burning sinuses that are trying to get reloaded with fresh oxygen but can’t. They are finally able to get in the truck but can’t see to drive through tear filled eyes. The radio doesn’t reach camp from here. They finally are able to get turned around and fumble their way toward safety. Finally they reach camp and rush into their rooms, shed their clothes and pile into the shower, fighting for the same nozzle of cold relief. By this time a crowd of very unsympathetic co-workers arrived in time to hear renewed gasps and cries of burning pain, now expanding downward. The oil-based pepper is flowing down onto tender bellies and cascading even further downward over even tenderer, dangling body parts. It seems to have no mercy on the men and their laughing mates seem to have even less. There seems to be no end to the fire and even cold water cannot extinguish their anguish.

     Finally someone takes pity and calls the hospital to try to figure out what to do. The sympathetic but snickering nurse orders the burning men out of the crowded shower. This is about the worse first aid you can provide. “Flood them with whole milk.” she advises. “The milk will absorb the peppery oil and don’t rub it in any more. After a bit get some Dawn dish soap and slowly rinse off the milk and pepper spray. They should be okay in a little while!”

     Bear spray is probably the best and safest deterrent you can take to the bush if there may be bears or other predators in the area. It is light and easy to carry on your belt where it can be easily and readily grasped if required. It does you no good to be buried in the bottom of you pack. If a bear approaches, slowly back off while speaking in a calm voice trying not to stare a challenge eye to eye. Get your bear spray out and release the safety. Make sure your companions are also slowly and calmly backing off, not running. If the bear continues its advance with ears back, lips curled be prepared. You must wait until it is quite close to you, ten feet or a bit more before you spray a short two or 3 second burst in a sweeping motion toward its face. Hopefully it is downwind from you but be sure to make sure it is making contact with the bear. You may need another burst so try not to empty your canister.

     Studies have found that good bear repellent is about 95% effective in stopping bear attacks or advances. A rifle or shotgun is effective in about 45% of the time in skilled hands. Pepper spray can also be used if the bear already has a hold on you or your partner. You can spray him but you probably should not shoot your rifle into that squirming, squalling mass of fur and friend.

     Before you ever get in the position of needing it, you should practise. Go out with your hiking companions and practise drawing the canister, releasing the safety and pressing the trigger. Aim the spray down toward an imaginary bear face and fan it back and forth being sure the charging bear has to pass through the peppery cloud. By all means don’t intentionally entice a bear to your camp or your body. Keep food away from both, make a bit of noise and hike with a group when in bear country. Get out and enjoy the wilderness and her critters but be prepared for all emergencies of which charging bears are probably one of the fewer.

     The above episode is true and happened more or less like explained. The guys suffered no permanent harm except for the emotional scarring caused by unending teasing and long memories of all who were witness to their embarrassing episode.

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How Do We Tackle Difficult Issues

     I am just wondering if there is any sense of continuing a formal environmental committee such as Wolf Matters.ca. Are we gaining any ground what so ever? I don't want to sound defeatist but what are we accomplishing? I feel like the NDP party of Alberta must feel. They will only ever get 20% of the vote in this province. We all complain about how bad the conservatives are but cannot defeat them.

     I ran into a situation last week to demonstrate what we are dealing with.

     My brother-in-law, a great guy, big farmer and upstanding citizen from small town Alberta who works hard, is honest and very red neck. He, his son and a few friends went ice fishing on their skidoos to Bistou Lake in far Northern Alberta last winter. They try to do this manly trip annually and to tell you the truth, I would also enjoy that very much. The thing that got to me was that while they were fishing, a pack of 8 wolves decided to cross this very large lake and were spotted by my family of red necks. The guys ran them down with their snowmobiles and managed to kill 6 of the pack. They are still bragging and laughing about this slaughter. They were able to salvage 3 hides as the rest of them began slipping their hair as they were packed so tightly on the skidoo toboggan. It is bad enough to me that these good people would slaughter these wolves very quickly around their farm land where there might be some possibility of the wolves doing harm to any cattle in the area, but up at Bistou Lake, there is nothing but natural prey for the wolves. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as they told their gruesome story. To maintain family harmony in an already unstable family group, I chose not to say anything.

     How do we combat this ingrained lust to kill one of our great predators? There is a culture of manly right-of-passage ingrained into such a large percentage of our population that it seems impossible to defeat or even slow down. My family continues to raise generation after generation of people ingrained with this lust to defeat the predators of our land. Their grandsons now have rifles and enjoy hunting coyotes, squirrels, along with deer, moose and elk. I don't mind hunting, I think it is a good thing to know how to feed your family in tough times. I get that. I am very much a part of this culture. I was raised within it and took part in many hunts. I also shot bears, wolves and coyotes and hoped at one time to get a shot at grizzly but never did.

     I have other brothers who have sons and outdoors lovers who cannot wait to get a shot at any wolf, bear, cougar that steps into their sights. I have listened to other people wishing they could be in the helicopter shot gunning wolves. My Dad one time shot 6 black bears in one sitting and another friend shot 5 in his grain field at one time for no other reason than bloodlust. I remember arguing with my brother over the salmon harvest. He would go annually salmon fishing to B.C. His truck carried a deep freeze and generator and he carried every fish he could back to Alberta with no thought to salmon and halibut stock declines. He paid for his license and the boat ride and was dam well going to get his money’s worth. His is not the only deepfreeze/generator package that I know about travelling annually to B.C. for the salmon fishery.

     This is the culture we are battling and trying to open their very closed minds to the possibilities of beautiful nature. Lord help me if I mention anything at all about trying to be environmentally aware of the destruction of our wild lands. Being an environmentalist is akin to being a Southern Baptist preacher spewing hell fire and brimstone at our family reunion. Right now many members of my family work and make their living with the companies in the very region of the province where the caribou are threatened by clear cutting and oil extraction. Getting that oil out of the ground and chopping those trees down right now is paramount to any environmental damage and be dammed if this isn't their right. I once worked for a sawmill owner who would have liked to put a bounty on Spotted Owls in B.C. so there would be no excuse to hold up logging old growth forest depriving him of more millions. It doesn’t matter that certain populations are extirpated here as there are still more in another places.

     This is the same dilemma that we are facing with the governments and resource extraction companies who are working here. They feel that they have the right to bull doze everything in their path for corporate profits and re-election. They have the right and the power to use all tools at their disposal to destroy whatever stands in their way. Poison, snares, traps and helicopter gunners will go out to destroy hundreds of predators under the guise of protecting a few caribou when they admit in their own correspondence that habitat fragmentation is the number one reason that caribou populations cannot grow and be sustainable. They seem willing to sacrifice this caribou population for resource corporate profits while accusing and hanging the wolves and bears.

     Both federal and provincial governments muzzle their scientists to prevent any educated information from reaching the general population. If you don't know about what is going on around you, you cannot raise a ruckus and  you will think things are just fine. Governments are happy to see us constantly distracted by meaningless celebrity news with the hope that we will talk more about Kim's booty job than any real issues.

     I do feel that there are many people who do care deeply about the wilderness in this and other provinces. We see every summer caravans of holiday trailers heading to some semblance of wilderness to experience a bit of nature. People do need rejuvenation that nature provides and we can see the desire to see predators by the "bear jambs" along any highway.

     Somehow we have to try to raise awareness to more people to what we are doing to our wilderness before it is so depleted that we will be confined to a few small parks. How do we do this? I truly look forward to showing my grand children something of the wilderness that I have seen. I don't want them to just see a moving benchmark of wildness that they may think is natural and real.

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Letter to the Premier

     This is a letter I just sent to our Provincial Premier, The Honourable Jim Prentice

     Our Provincial government is trying to figure out how to save the dwindling populations of caribou in the little Smokey region of north-central Alberta.

     The simplest solution is to stop habitat fragmentation in caribou country. I have never been able to understand government and industry need to extract every resource right now! The oil, gas and timber is not going anywhere, it will be there years down the road. The noise and activity of all the traffic and equipment disrupts the very shy and reclusive wildlife even further reducing the land base they have available for use. I suggest opening an area to extraction, do the job, fix the mess, restore the land and move on. Leave meaningful corridors through which wildlife can migrate. Limit the amount of traffic to times of year least disruptive to them. Right now we see miles of destruction with little evidence of restoration. I have looked at several examples over the past year:

     Coalmines south of Hinton have literally moved mountains. I see grass growing on some of their reclaim but not a tree to be seen to replace the forest that has been removed.

     I looked at logging south of Grande Prairie where I used to work. Instead of an 80 year cycle to maintain an annual allowable cut in perpetuity, there are few mature trees left standing as well as miles of new roads, gas and oil facilities, pipelines and continued logging due to pine beetle, a disaster not accounted for in the past. Forest fire could have also happened instead of beetle. The cut cycle has occurred in 40 years, ½ the time required for a forest to be replaced. Is the company now going to request another, even larger land base and stretch even further into marginal territory which encroaches even further into wildlife territory?

     Is anyone actually doing any restoration work in the oil sands mines and settling ponds? Is there any new forest growing to replace those that were removed? Are they going to keep digging and pumping sludge until the companies go broke or quit saying they can no longer afford to clean up? This remediation work needs to be ongoing and finished before new mines started.

     Medicine Hat and a gas company want to destroy the last small bit of land that is home to the Sage grouse. They have written that: "It doesn't matter if the grouse is extirpated here, there are still a few of them surviving in the USA!" Is this legacy the will of our population and the heritage that we want to leave our grand children?

     The government is extremely concerned about a few wild/feral horses in western Alberta that seem to me to be doing very little harm to their environment. Leave them alone to be enjoyed by tourists and outdoor enthusiasts and get concerned about the habitat destruction by logging companies running amok causing trap line destruction and contributing to massive flooding and river destruction.

    

     The mad rush to get every drop out of the ground today is also probably contributing to the world over supply/ low price issues. Now the government is using this issue to threaten us with dire economic consequences!

     The land along the eastern slopes and stretching out into boreal forest was all caribou range a few years ago. I remember when there was a caribou hunt still allowed until almost 1980. This traditional caribou territory was healthy for all types of wildlife until it began to be opened up by logging and petroleum companies. Prey and predators lived in harmonious balance until we began to interfere. It was a spectacular land.

     I don't understand but if I am to believe the government, I am sure that poisoning, shooting, snaring and trapping every wolf and wild horse in the area will solve all of our problems and the caribou, and sage grouse will all suddenly thrive!

     I must apologize for our recklessness to my grand children now!

     Please Mr. Prentice, help us get this madness under control. I don't believe that you want as part of your legacy to be known as a person who had the power to preserve our wilderness and did nothing. You don't want to be remembered as the Premier who lost the last caribou or sage grouse. This is much more real and long term than some corporations profit.

Sincerely

Robert Scriba

Old Stomping Grounds

     A few days after Christmas we headed for Grande Prairie for a visit to see friends and relatives. I also wanted to tour the area south of Grande Prairie where I worked as a logger for Proctor and Gamble at the time. When I left the city around 9:00 it was -27 degrees Celsius but the sun was bright and lightening the hoar frost and snow covered forest. The main haul road south from the Weyerhaeuser pulp mill was in beautiful shape as it used to be with the help of winter frost and snow filled potholes. It was 1979 when I last travelled this road, 35 years already. Where has the time gone? As I drove along I remembered incidents and landmarks from my past.
     Mile 11 was the spot a loaded log truck driver dodged a coyote and ended up out in the swamp, still upright but now jobless.

Coyote

     Here at mile 29 was the spot another fellow tipped his truck over and scattered logs for more than a hundred yards after hitting a bump and losing control on the down hill slope.
     Right here we were travelling home after a late shift around 2:00 in the morning. I was driving a crew cab with three or four work mates, including my friend Smokey, an East Indian immigrant. It was a bright moonlit, cold winter night when suddenly several timber wolves crossed through the high beam headlights. I immediately stopped and shut the truck off, hoping to see more wolves. We stood outside the truck and enjoyed listening to the wolves howl back and forth from each side of the road. We were surrounded by spectacular wilderness symphony. What a memorable few minutes. I could not convince Smokey to sit beside the road while we drove away.
     There is the spot I shot a moose while hunting with my wife and first son Michael when he was around a year or a bit more old. I remember having a friend of mine help carry that moose to the road. He was a big strong Frenchman who broke trail while I staggered along behind trying to hold up my end of the moose load.

Trees planted around 1975

     Mile 32 corner is where I planted my first trees into the naked cut block. Those trees now stand more than thirty feet tall. It worked! This was the same area that the company helicopter landed in front of one of our delimbing machines to inform the operator that he was on fire. The rear engine was burning giant billows of smoke and flames while he was driving down the road.

Compressor Station

     It is difficult to see some of the landmarks as there are new roads, oil well sites, compressor stations, pipelines and gas plants scattered all the way along the road. The old airstrip is not even noticeable.

5 or 6 year old Lodgepole Pine 

     There are no more mature trees left, or very few. This forest has been infested by the Mountain Pine Beetle which has destroyed millions of Lodgepole pine from B.C. through Alberta and beyond. The company is trying to salvage as much of the dead and dying timber as possible. When I was logging here the plan was to cycle through the forest on a eighty year cycle. Timber was supposed to last forever if this allowable cut could be maintained.

Mountain Pine Beetle Infested Trees 

     It is now 40 years since the first trees were cut in 1972 and there are few mature trees left in the Weyerhaeuser district one area. I wonder what will happen in the next few years to the forest, the wildlife and the land. What new pest or fire will come through to disrupt man's best laid plans.

Healthy Looking Coyote

      I did so enjoy spending time with a coyote who has discovered that there may be a few scraps of food at a mandatory truck stop where the drivers must check their load security and equipment. This coyote will hopefully not become another blotch on the road, himself food for scavengers. This is mile 42 and it is plus 2 degrees C. It always seems to be warmer out here than in town.

Snowy Cattails

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Today's Observed Predators

     There's a moose on top of the hill in front of the rising sun. Is it a bull? "I think that would make a great photo'" I think to myself as I drive down the highway wondering if it is worthwhile to go back.
     I am not as early as I would like to be. I generally like to be walking down the path before daylight to get far enough from the busy highway in hope of seeing wolves or other predators. It is a mile to the first spot that I can turn around to head back and another mile past the grazing moose to where I can turn back. By the time I get back to where the moose is standing, she has her head up watching me, as I am the only vehicle stopping on the busy highway. Instant alarm and moosey self-preservating concern kicks in about 10 seconds after I open my door, camera in hand. Time for a couple quick shots before the cow moves off. Oh well, I did not have the camera quite set well enough for the shot I envisioned. On to the next possible shot.

Great Horned Owl with Snowshoe Hare

     About two miles down the highway something black catches my attention from the corner of my left eye. Ravens circling and in some kind of flap over another critter on the fencepost. Something unusual going on here so I toddle on down the road to where I can turn back once again. I'm not making much headway this morning, oh well. I pull far off the highway as I can so the busy traffic can whiz by safely. A great-horned owl is sitting on the fence post holding a snowshoe hare. Poor bunny! The ravens are trying their best to harass the owl into dropping it's hard earned meal. I think the ravens have forgotten that they are fooling around with one of the greatest avian predators in the Boreal forest. All the owl does is watch them closely and duck its head as the raven dives it. The owl has its meal and is going to keep it. It soon flies up into a nearby aspen tree where it is well camouflaged and protected from dive bombers.

Pretty Well Hidden Great Horned Owl

     When I think of predators, I don't always consider birds. There are probably more predatory bird species than the more commonly thought of mammals. I am not even considering the greater numbers of deadly, tiny insects or microscopic creatures under our feet in the forest that most of us know nothing about.
     On this day I came across a very deadly Northern Shrike hunting any small songbirds such as the cute little Black-Capped Chickadees and White-Breasted Nuthatches or the Hairy Woodpeckers that I watch for a few minutes. Nuthatches, now that I think about it, are preying on any insects they can find in the cracks of the aspen tree boles. Same with the two woodpeckers that are digging hidden insects from their hideaway inside the rotting trees. The magpies and ravens that are harassing the owl are also very opportunistic predators, not at all shy about stealing baby birds, eggs or meaty scraps found on kills made by larger predators.

Too Quick Black-Capped Chickadee

     Here we are, well into the winter season, the first day after the shortest day of the year. Most birds have migrated south and today I have spotted eight species of birds of which only two are prey for predators. Chickadees and snow buntings do not have safe lives just because they are cute to us. They have to be on high alert at all times while they flit from seed to fruit gleaning every possible calorie during the day so they can survive the long cold nights without dying from hypothermia.
     On my walk today I came across several moose and noticed quite a few clumps of hair already scraped off their itchy hides. Ticks have begun their annual life cycle by attaching themselves to any moose that wanders past. Ticks are very predatory insects that can infest a moose by the thousands. Moose will literally scratch themselves bald trying to get rid of blood-sucking ticks. Moose can be so infested that they become weak from blood loss, cold due to hair loss and sick enough to die. I have seen moose carcasses that were so sick that even scavengers would not touch them.

Bull Moose

     I finally was able to get close enough to a bull moose for some decent photos today. They are pretty skittish as two of this fellows bachelor buddies showed me. For some reason this fellow was curious enough about me to allow me into his personal safe zone. Perhaps he noticed how handicapped I appeared walking through waist high shin tangle, knowing that he could easily out distance me if he found it necessary. Moose are big animals standing over five feet at the shoulders and weighing over 700 pounds in this case. This rack, although not large in comparison to very large ones, is respectable for this area of the world. It is more than four feet wide and probably weighs more than forty pounds. In less than a month this bull will lose his antlers and begin growing a new set in time for next years rut.

White-tailed Buck in the Rut

     A bit further down the trail, I notice a white-tailed buck, neck swollen by testosterone fuelled hormones, with his nose to the ground or high in the air, hot on the trail of a sweet smelling doe. This is the one time of the year that these deer lose their cautionary survival instinct and we can be lucky enough to get close enough for a shot. Normally he would have spotted me and I would never know he was even near, but today he walked right across the trail in front of me with nothing on his mind but a sweetheart. I think I can remember what that was all about.
     These moose and the deer will be well reminded to pay attention, and perhaps that was what the other two bull moose were doing by keeping their distance. There are wolves about and they are what I think of when I think of predators. There is no doubt that they are amongst the worlds top hunters of the world but they hunt in packs most often. Most predatory birds are solitary hunters. I have seen Bald Eagles assist their mates to chase down a gull or duck but otherwise they hunt on their own or steal from smaller successful predators.
     Some days it pays to stay in bed a bit longer than usual as you never know what is happening when, in the Boreal Forest.

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No Job

     I am no longer employed by Deerland Equipment by mutual agreement. It has not been my happy place for a few months but being afraid of the unknown and self-doubts, I stayed and made a living. I really wanted to be other places. With more and more pressure to get out and find sales, talk to people. sell old customers more equipment, do more demos, sell, sell, sell, I knew I was getting outside of my comfort zone. I was offered a different position within the company but took this as a "kick in the butt" to get out and do what I have want to do. I have some ideas that I will pursue along the path I began 9 years ago. I will get back into wilderness guiding, photography and writing.
     I have learned many valuable lessons about sales and humans over the past three years. Do you ever feel like saying something to some people?

• People do not buy like I do. If I want something, I go get it. I have an idea about what I want and go find it. I will try to dicker price a bit but generally not overly successfully. I am getting ripped
• I try to purchase major items before I really need it. I don't wait until the snow is knee deep and begin my search for a snow blower. I try to purchase snow tires before the big ice storm. I try to purchase my Christmas gifts before noon on the 24th Dec. Other people don't. They will wait until the last moment and then be pissed if they can't find exactly what they want NOW! We had lots of stock yesterday
• Some customers are liars. "This tractor runs  beautifully, I just want a new one!" You hate it and you want to dump it on us!
• "What? is that all you will give me for my 1983 Massey Harry tractor that runs like a top? I haven't put a dime into her, doesn't need a thing. Don't worry about that tear in the seat, the dent in the rad, the leaking gasket, that muffler bearing is just fine, the missing grease nipple on the rad cap has been missing for a while now, just noticed!" 500.00 less
• You will never have exactly what a customer wants when he needs it yesterday. Hey jackass, we can order it for you. It's going to cost you!
• Why can't you deliver that machine to me at 8:00 tonight? Cause I have a life!
• You want how much for that mower? Are you nuts? I saw it in your flyer last week for 1/2 that! You're full of bear scat!
• Your competition has it on for 300.00 less than you. Same thing exactly! Please go buy it there then!
• I can get a Kubota for 3000.00 less! You deserve it
• I want a hat and a jacket for me and my kin folk if I buy that 300.00 used lawn mower. Go to the thrift shop
• The warranty is only 3 days passed! You could have called in when the problem first occurred and we could have covered it. 
• I will never be back if this is the kind of service I can expect from you. I thank you for that small blessing!
• The wife only drives that gator to the garden and back, It has never even seen a mud puddle! This machine is not a submarine! 
• I have to ask the wife! No Balls? (I can speak big now, as long as mine isn't here!)
• I am going to think about it. I am a gentle salesman. If you want it buy it. I am not going to hound and harass you. I am not going to kiss your butt to buy it from me! I am not going to call you at home at supper time or bed time to purchase anything. If you expect that, there is the next dealership down the road. You expressed an interest and I have given you the facts, the decision is yours now. (my downfall as a salesman)

     I am sure there are many other lessons and answers that I will think of over the next few days. I will try to add them. You are welcome to share your experiences in the comments.
     It is not all bad either. There are some great people out there if treated fairly. I will miss some of my good customers. They are working hard to get ahead and understand that two-way relationship building is important in marriages and in business.
     John Deere's do break down. They are fixable. You can get parts for them. They are expensive but you get what you pay for. If they don't work, we will make it right. If you wrecked it, you will pay. Don't lie to us, we can see what happened to cause the failure and will explain it, if it is your fault or the manufacturers fault.

I would like to thank all the great customers I had the privilege to sell a great product to. I would also like to thank Deerland and the great people dedicated to all of their customers satisfaction. I could never sell a Case or a Kubota tractor.

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Adventure, Trauma and Excitement

     I have to blame Wifey for my latest mishap. It all started off innocently enough with a visit to the dentist a couple weeks ago, which she insisted I do. He filled one and extracted one baby tooth that should have come out when I was in my teens. The bad part about it was that that tooth was one of the anchors for a partial bridge on my lower jaw. Now, with nothing to clamp onto, that clasp is just hanging there, in mid air, or, mid mouth, like a fishhook waiting for an unsuspecting, innocent fish to come by.

      Early Saturday morning, in the first snow fall, I am headed to Nordegg to do a presentation for the Junior Forest Wardens who are on a weekend camp out at wilderness camp Alexo. I had been asked by my daughter-in-law to do a show about my experience with salmon and bears. The JFWs are planning a trip on the West Coast Trail in August of 2016 so would like to be aware of some of the sights they may come across. I was happy to do it as I get to go to the west central region of Alberta for some much needed mountain time. I stopped for gas and snacks at Rocky Mtn. House before heading west toward my destination. One of the snacks I purchased was a bag of Cracker Jack which I would never do if Wifey was there to keep me on my sugar free, junk food free diet.

      “My, ain’t this real pretty” I am thinking as I am quietly driving along the empty highway, listening to staticky CFCW country radio as I motored further from its home base in Camrose.  I am watching for critters and scenery while munching away at my bag of Cracker Jack when a sudden and piercing pain struck my tongue. All chewing came to a halt. I gagged and tried to spit the half chewed Cracker Jack into my hand but my tongue won’t move. It has been impaled by the sharp bridge clasp. Talk about distracted driving for a second while I direct the car to the edge of the highway.

     I don’t know which way to take my tongue off the offending hook. I try to remember which way it curved so I could gently withdraw it from the metal trap. I can feel blood mixing into the half masticated popcorn, peanuts, candy and corn hulls. The bridge is now flopping about on my tongue mixing the mouthy mess into drool dripping from half open jaws. I get a grip on the steel bridge and attempt to empty my mouth without causing any more damage to poor tongue.

     “How come does this happen to me? Am I being punished for cheating on my diet?”

     Finally, after at least several minutes of struggle, it seems, I am finally able to free my tongue, rescue my teeth and clear my mouth of all debris. I can breathe without panic or further damage to painful tongue!

     It is Wifey’s fault, obvious as can be.

     I made it in plenty of time to find the remote camp and do some exploration before the show. I find the long abandoned town of Saunders after a quick visit to the turquoise coloured North Saskatchewan River. I enjoy my lunch while sitting alone on the bank watching the cold water flow quietly but insistently downstream. A river bank, wherever it is, is one of my favourite sit spots. I think it fuels my own envious wanderlust as I am a wanderer too. I am most happy, like the river, on the move, enjoying the journey more so than the destination, by far.

     The town was a coal mining town that was quite the happening place for several years. Now the only reminder of a town is a stone monument and a glass encased map of what it looked like. Even the railroad is gone except for the right-of-way and over-growing grade. I have to wonder how someone found the coal seam in this vast area. What if the seam had been half a mile up hill, would that wandering prospector still have found it?

Map of the coal mining ghost town of Saunders, Alberta

     There are about 80 or 90 parents, leaders and children of all ages at the presentation. This is a very involved group of people who enjoy the wilds of Alberta year around. It is not a babysitting service where you can just drop your kids off for the weekend. In this Junior Forest Wardens group, all parents are involved and helping the leaders teach valuable outdoor skills to interested youth. There are many games played, fires built, knives sharpened, scavenger hunts, meals cooked and cleaned up, wood to gather along with new friends made and respect for the environment gleaned. What a great opportunity this is for these young people away from city distractions. There are no computers, Internet or TV. Here, there is only fresh air, exercise, wilderness challenges and a badly needed Nature re-connection.

Ruffed Grouse, Not Our Dinner Today

     After a great meal of roast chicken, veggies and spuds topped off by wild berry crisp and ice cream we all went outside in the dark and drizzling rain to build a campfire. It doesn't take too long before the whole crew crowds around the blazing fire singing songs and enjoying the night. What a fantastic evening to take part in. After my presentation, I left in a heavy snow storm. I felt a bit guilty to be heading to a nice warm, dry motel room while most of the crew would be sleeping in smokey teepee's.

     The next morning I woke up and looked out to about 4 inches of fresh snow. I heard about it later from my son. Everyone survived, albeit a bit damp, smoked and chilly. Memories and adventure for all.

     The snow was not Wifey's fault!

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